


Shifting, Changing, Rearranging

by silentconventionalweapon



Series: Intergalactic Angst [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Black Romance, Blood, Breakups, F/F, F/M, Fights, I guess???, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Multi, NSFW, Pale Romance, Post-Sburb, Red Romance, davejade - Freeform, davekat - Freeform, idk - Freeform, quadrant flipping, quadrants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentconventionalweapon/pseuds/silentconventionalweapon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas and you can't seem to catch a fucking break. The Game ended a week ago, and you're still feeling like a useless piece of shit. On top of that, you've been having these horrible nightmares lately, your moirail isn't much help, and you've been flipping quadrants with Dave more often than ever. There is so much goddamn drama going on that you could star in an Alternian soap opera.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is the second work in my series [Intergalactic Angst](http://archiveofourown.org/series/361319) so I would suggest giving the first work a read in order to get the entire story. 
> 
> As always, comments are appreciated, thanks!

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you’re a goddamn embarrassment to your kind. You’re supposed to be a strong Alternian troll, evolved from poisonous wasps and raised in the harshest environment in the universe. And yet you’re nearly pissing yourself to tears because of some stupid reoccurring nightmare. Even your past self wasn’t enough of a dumbass to make that mistake. Nope, this is all current you. You stupid fucking idiot. 

Your fingers tremble as you poke at the keys of your husktop, and another wave of self-loathing rage washes over you. You have to take a breath and calm yourself (something your wonderful moirail taught you to do when you got too overwhelmed), and then think out what you say while you type. 

CG: USUALLY I CAN TELL RIGHT FROM THE START THAT ITS A DREAM  
CG: BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, AND EVERYTHING IS STUPID  
CG: AND SO I TRY TO TELL MYSELF TO WAKE UP BEFORE SHIT GETS BAD  
CG: BECAUSE  
CG: IT ALWAYS FUCKING GETS BAD.  
TT: And what usually happens when you attempt to wake yourself?  
CG: …  
CG: IT DOESN’T FUCKING WORK.  
…  
…..  
…

_The air is thick and hazy, weighing down your lungs as you push yourself up from the ground. The black stone beneath your hands is vibrating with the pulse of the universe, beating in time with your own. It smells like iron and ash and copper and death. You know before you even open your eyes that you are on LOPAH, your own personal planet bestowed upon you by The Game through what you assume is some huge cosmic fucking joke._

_Yes, your entire existence is a joke. Your blood is the punchline._

_Ha fucking ha._

_As you stand, gravity shifts your body in an unnatural way, leaving your heels an inch off the ground. You had already guessed you were dreaming, but at least that gave you proof._

_A sickening hiss and scraping of stone against stone distracts you, and your thoughts momentarily come to a hault._

…  
…..  
…

TT: I see. So you end up trapped, yet self-aware, while you are dreaming.  
TT: And even so, you remain unable to control the situations you dream up?  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: LIKE I KNOW IT ISN’T REAL AND MY DREAM SELF IS DEAD SO NOTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE DREAM CAN ACTUALLY HARM ME BUT  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: GOD IT JUST. FUCK.  
TT: Are you alright, Karkat? Should I send Dave to check on you?  
TT: I could return from the mainland within a few minutes to comfort you if you’d like.  
CG: IT’S FINE, I’M FUCKING FINE.  
CG: AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT FUCKING TELL HIM ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION.  
CG: IT’S JUST.  
CG: EMOTIONALLY, IT FEELS TOO REAL.  
CG: IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE IS REPLAYING MEMORIES I DON’T HAVE.  
CG: EXCEPT I STILL GET STUCK WITH ALL THE GODDAMN EMOTIONAL TURMOIL.

…  
…..  
…

_Sickles materialize into your hands, and you clutch fists around the cool metal. It’s relaxing, the dark silver glinting beyond the haze of bloody rivers. It’s a nice distraction from the inevitable. Aradia’s words ring in your ears, though you weren’t the one she spoke them to- about failure and necessary doom- she had spoken them to Sollux, of all people. And look who ended up playing host to that duality-loving freak at the corpse party._

_There’s an all-my-friends-are-dead joke in there somewhere._

_The familiar buzz of a far off swarm of drones rings in your ears, and fear prickles up the hair on the back of your neck. Your hands are sweaty and clammy, little clumps of fuzz are pulling off the fabric of your sweater and sticking to your skin, irritating your grubscars, and holy fuck your knees are suddenly killing you. Did you fall that hard on your way down here?_

_Wait. You didn’t fall down here._

_“This isn’t real,” you remember, speaking out oud in a hushed tone. “You’re asleep. You’re asleep…”_

_The ground shifts beneath you again, a mocking reminder that you had forgotten you were unconscious._

_“You stupid fuck!” You release your fists, letting the muffled sound of your sickles clattering against the stone ring in your ears. “Wake up!”_

_The stench of blood clogs your throat, and you choke. You scream through it. You scream and cry and plea, your throat raw and throbbing. You double over, a sharp pain in your stomach forcing you to gag as your knees slam against the hard ground. You recall that your knees were hurting a few minutes earlier._

_Your vision is clouded with translucent pink tears, but you don’t doubt the speckles of bright crimson blood mixed in with the bile you coughed up. It glows, and so do the rivers of blood surrounding you. Fuck. Fuck. The stone beneath you is hot again, your knees are aching, your throat is bleeding but you can’t stop screaming-- !_

_Wake up… Wake up!_

_WAKE UP!_  
…  
…..  
…

CG: WAKE UP.  
TT: Hm?  
CG: THAT’S ALL I CAN SAY.  
CG: WHEN I’M TRYING TO PULL MYSELF OUT OF IT, THAT’S ALL I KEEP SAYING.  
CG: I KEEP SCREAMING AT MYSELF TO FUCKING WAKE UP ALREADY.  
CG: AND IT NEVER WORKS.  
TT: May I ask why you do not want Dave to know about these dreams? I’m sure he would take pity on you and offer comfort.  
CG: I DO NOT NEED YOUR FUCKING MATESPRIT RELATIONSHIP ADVICE RIGHT NOW LALONDE, I NEED YOU TO DO YOUR FUCKING DUTY AS MY PALEMATE AND HELP ME.  
TT: I understand, though I don’t think you do. Have you thought that perhaps my help is presented in the form of that suggestion?  
TT: I will state it simply: Talk to Dave about your nightmares. Trust me, he’ll be able to help.  
TT: Now, unless you need anything else, I would like to get back to my own matesprit. She’s hungry and I do not want to keep her waiting too long.  
CG: JESUS FUCK, ROSE I DID NOT NEED THAT PIECE OF INFORMATION.  
CG: PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT STILL REMAINS HOLY IN THIS GODFORSAKEN UNIVERSE, GO AND DO NOT GIVE ME ANY DETAILS ABOUT YOUR EVENING WHEN I SEE YOU FOR COFFEE TOMORROW.  
TT: It’s entirely too easy to manifest paleness towards you, did you know that? My diamond is swooning each time you speak.  
CG: SHUT UP. FUCK OFF.  
CG: …  
CG:♢  
TT: Such a romantic.  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP.  
TT: ♢ 

 

You slap your husktop closed, more frustrated with yourself than with Rose. Even though she was being overdramatic, she wasn’t wrong, and you’re just as fucking pale for her too. Goddamnit, now you have to go find Dave. 

It’s been a week since the Game ended, and you’re still baffled at the way things turned out. Due to the cosmic forces of every universe loving to continuously fuck you over, John’s double-reach-around retcon bullshit and Vriska’s leadership skills are what saved your timeline and everyone in it. Apparently the final battle was something amazing, not that you would fucking know, since you spent the entire time unconscious and nursing a concussion thanks to Kanaya knocking you the fuck out. That was the first time you had the dream that is currently haunting you. 

Which, once again, brings you back to the present. You need to go fucking talk to Dave. Not that you mind of course, it’s just that he (along with the other godtiered flying idiots) have been impossible to track down since forming the new universe. With everyone doing so much important shit, you feel sort of like a double failure. Then again, if you’re not involved in things, it’s impossible for you to screw things up. So, you figure it’s a win-lose situation. 

Your shoes scuff against the ground where grass gradually disappears into the sand of the beach. It’s already pretty late in the day, so most of the others are in their respective hiveblocks for the night. The exceptions, of course, are Dave and Dirk, who are sitting almost silently on one of the large rocks by the pier overlooking the ocean. As you approach the trail of uneven rocks, the salty air tickles your nose and makes you sniffle. It attracts Dave’s attention, and when he turns to glance at you, there’s the smallest of smiles across his lips. Your heart melts, and you absolutely hate it. 

“Sorry to interrupt the ‘douche bags with shades’ meeting,” you say, sounding pathetic. 

“It’s cool,” Dave says as he rises to his feet. “This was just a review for next week’s meeting. We’ve got a lot of shit to cover, it ain’t easy being the only two members of the ‘douche bags with shades’ club. ‘Course if you’re interested, we might start accepting applications for new members.” 

“You fucking wish,” you scowl, crossing your arms out of habit. You can feel Dirk staring at you, and you see his poker face in your peripherals, but you don’t dare acknowledge it. 

Dave turns to his ecto-biological littermate and gives a sharp nod, which Dirk returns. The gestures remind you of one of your schoolfeeding lessons which covered nonverbal communication among beasts. 

The atmosphere around you is quiet as you walk back across the sand. Dave’s hand finds yours, and your fingers intertwine together like a fucking jigsaw puzzle. You give his hand a squeeze. 

“So what’s up?” he finally asks. 

What _is_ up? 

You really don’t want to start off this conversation by telling him about your nightmares. Even though Rose was the one who suggested it, Dave isn’t your moirail, so unloading your personal issues on him right away would be a million different kinds of inappropriate. You take a moment to breathe deeply a few times before answering. 

“Let’s go to the park,” you say as you begin to lead him down the correct path. 

“Ain’t it a little late for bird watching? Or do you wanna like, do the nasty in a tree or something?” Dave is smirking, you know before you even look at him. He just laughs at your response of disgust, and continues walking with you. 

For an entire five minutes, it’s quiet and peaceful, and there’s nothing on your mind. The sun is setting, and one of the moons is already high in the sky, shining violet and bright. It reminds you vaguely of Alternia. Your native language clicks in your throat as you voice out the name of your dead planet, and it feels like sandpaper on your tongue. Dave stops walking, his grip on your hand tightening and forcing you to face him. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” His voice is low and serious, and he’s close to frowning in concern. 

“What?” You glare in defense. 

He sighs and slides off his shades, tucking them into the collar of his shirt. His eyes are violently red, goddamn it, and it catches you off guard even after spending a sweep and a half glancing at them. You can feel your expression soften as you stare. 

“Don’t you _‘what’_ me, Kar,” he sighs. “The only time you ever do the alien clicky thing is when you’re depressed about something.” 

Fuck, you hate that he’s so goddamn observant. You don’t deserve such a kind matesprit. You wince as you taste copper after biting your lip, and Dave’s thumb brushes across the wound and carries off a bead of blood. The hue matches his eyes exactly. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks again. His voice is soft, laced with worry and understand. Fuck you for being so fucking flushed for this human. You sigh, clicks of annoyance resonating in the back of your throat as you rest your forehead against his chest. 

“Rose said I should talk to you, about some shit that’s been going on,” you say. “Apparently human moirails are loose with their quadrant boundaries, since any decent troll would consider this cheating. At the very least, blatant quadrant blurring.” 

“Hah,” Dave huffs out a laugh, and you feel it reverberate through his chest. His arms wrap around you, and you feel safe. “As if you and I don’t flip from red to black every other day.” 

“Fuck you,” you say weakly, your voice muffled against his shirt. You’re not in the mood for that discussion right now. It had come up a few times within the past couple days, and your idiot self refuses to come to terms with the way you've been flipping quadrants so easily.

“See?” The bastard laughs again, and you sink further into his embrace. 

“I hate all humans,” you groan, and finally push away from him. “You’re all awful and I hope you die in the most painful fucking way possible. Let the new universe be ruled by trolls, the clear superior race.”

Dave is sputtering a laugh at your weak insults as he grabs your hand and pulls you to the ground. The grass is soft beneath your legs, and you take it upon yourself to curl up and rest your head on your matesprit’s lap. His hands immediately go to your hair, circling around your horns in a way that makes you shiver and sigh and push into his touch like the pathetic, attention starved piece of shit you are.

“So, what did Rose want you to talk to me about?” he asks after a minute of silence. 

“Nightmares,” you answer in a purr. You let your eyes close and focus on the way his fingers comb through your hair. 

“You been having nightmares again?” 

“Mmhm.” 

His hands stop moving, and you absolutely do not whine at the loss of his touch. 

“Karkat,” Dave says as he pulls back, his tone serious. “Please tell me you’re not having prophetic dreams about how you’re going to be the troll Jesus of the new world.” 

“No you asshole-”

“Cuz I’m gonna be real here, I don’t think I can handle being your whore turned holy secret wife dude, like I love you and all but I still got my limits,” he rambles. You raise your hand up to cover his mouth before he has the chance to say something worse. 

“Dave, shut the fuck up,” you say, cautiously removing your hand. “It’s just like, the same shit that I would dream about on the meteor, except I can’t escape it.” 

“Oh,” he says, expression dropping. “Well I mean, the meteor was different cuz we had dream bubbles there. Ya think that’s why it’s worse here?” 

You shrug and nuzzle into his lap again. “Rose said I should talk to you about it because you would understand better.” 

Dave stiffens beneath you, and you sit up by reflex. His gaze is far off, but only for a few seconds, until he blinks and catches your gaze. His expression goes from neutral to defensive. “Fuck Rose, she doesn’t know shit,” he says. “Sounds like she’s just slacking on her moirail duties.” 

“I’m not a fucking moron, I know you’ve dealt with horrorterrors on the meteor,” you say with a frown. “And in case you forgot, we share the same respiteblock, and I can tell when you’re not sleeping.” 

“Drop it already man, I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“Dave, just fucking-”

“No, Karkat, I’m not doing this shit,” Dave suddenly says, pushing himself up off the ground. “I told you before, if you wanna get all up close and personal with your shitty past memories and all that bullshit, leave me the fuck out of it. That’s why you’ve got Rose, isn’t it?”

“Rose sent me to you!” you yell back. Fuck volume control, now you’re pissed off.

“And I told you, Rose doesn’t know shit!” He’s huffing, chest heaving, and his hands are curled dangerously into fists. “Last I checked I’m not in a clover with you two, so fuck off.”

“You make it so fucking hard not to flip on you, you know that?” you call after him. He pauses to glance back at you, and you instantly recognize the tears welled up in his eyes. You’re not sure if that makes you feel smug and satisfied, or if you should pity him even more. You almost choke at your own conflicting emotions (and stupid, _stupid_ tendency to blur your quadrants so quickly).

“You wanna flip on me, Karkat? Go ahead, make my fucking day, please,” he holds his arms out to emphasize his defenseless stance. “C'mon man, I’m waiting, beat the shit out of me when I least expect it. My life ain’t complete without some asshole taking advantage of my weaknesses.” 

Now Dave is laughing, but you don’t think it’s genuine because there are also tears streaming down his cheeks. It scares you a little, and you feel like an asshole for standing there without a clue of what to do. You’re no better than an expired sack of cull bait. You’re the worst fucking matesprit in all of paradox space. 

But you also can’t ignore the tiny black flame burning in your chest. It's almost sickening how tempting it is to embrace, flickering while your mind flirts with the idea of engaging in something black with this human who has been giving you conflicting feelings since the day you met him on the meteor. You want to reach out for it, you want to indulge in this sickening quadrant-flipping. The more you consider it, the thirstier you get for it, and the harder it is to resist. Fuck it.

“Oh, screw you, Strider,” you bite back. “If anyone is taking advantage of weaknesses, it’s you.”

“Hah, dude, what?” Dave is beyond pissed off now, his hands clenched and arms trembling with how tightly his muscles are tensed. 

“You know exactly what!” You stomp forward as you speak and give his shoulder a shove. “Here, I’ll make you a fucking list since you’re too much of an incompetent wriggler to understand it! First of all, your constant fucking flirting with every single girl, regardless of littermate relation or not.” You shove him again. “Your blatant disregard for my fucking feelings.” Shove. “Your constant emotional unavailability!” 

You bring your hand back to shove his chest again, but you’re suddenly stunned as a throbbing pain pulses from your left cheek bone. Dave is glaring at you, huffing and shaking, and he pulls his hand back to land another punch to your face. This time you counter though, digging your claws into his flailing arm and not letting go until you feel blood. He’s groaning in pain, but still has enough sense to headbutt you directly on the bridge of your nose, forcing you to release your grip. 

You barely have time to register the warm sensation of blood trickling from your nose before Dave’s mouth is on yours. You can taste the iron and hate, and it briefly reminds you of your nightmares. It makes you shiver, but you push against his mouth even harder, not bothering to hold back as your fangs dig into his lower lip. When he pulls away, he’s a bloody mess too, and his crimson eyes are radiating with hate. 

“Fuck you, Karkat.” He spits a grotesque mixture of blood and saliva at your face. 

“Fuck you! You’re the one who started this!” You’re still yelling, your body is still tense like a coil and you’re just waiting to pounce. 

“Hah, you wanna do this man? Get all up in my spades?” Dave is grinning, and his knuckles crack as he clenches his fists. “I’m damn near begging you to say yes just so I don’t have to hold back.” 

“It’s a fucking insult you would hold back in the first place,” you snarl at him. You finally let yourself spring forward and launch at him, but he’s ready for you. The two of you wrestle each other to the ground, and at some point, you are face down in the dirt, wrists pinned against a tree as your ex-matesprit-new-kismesis tears your clothes off. The burning inside of you is as intense as ever, but unlike before, you’re pretty sure you absolutely fucking love it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Dave Strider, and you've just been broken up with. Maybe now is when you should focus on your godly duties, your inner thoughts, or maybe just fill your newly empty heart-quadrant with someone new.

Your name is Dave Strider and you think you might be at an existential crossroads, both metaphorically and literally. Wind whips up beneath your feet as you hover over the fork in the dirt path deep within the forest. You’re supposed to be aging up a few species to get life going, sort of a way to fast-track things on this new planet. Jane and Jade are somewhere around here too, though you lost track of them a few minutes ago when you were distracted by what you are still being distracted by. 

Karkat sort of broke up with you. Well, not sort of, he _did_ break up with you. You’re not his matesprit anymore, as you’ve flipped into the spades quadrant three days ago. You guess you’re still his boyfriend though? Who knows, this shit is too fucking confusing. 

You wave your hand over a tree to your left, willing time to age it into a blossoming adult. Thick, round fruits form where the buds of flowers once were. They look really good, your mouth even waters a bit at wondering how juicy they probably are, but before you can reach out and pick one, the whole thing wilts. The once delicious looking fruits are now withered and brown as they fall to the dirt. 

“Fuck,” you mutter, willing time to return to normal around the already-dead tree. Okay, that’s fucking embarrassing. Good thing the girls aren’t around to see your grand mistake. 

“Dave, what the hell?” Jade’s voice rings out from behind you. You lose all faith in the gods (ironic, since you are one of the gods, but you suppose you never had much faith in yourself to begin with). “When I said age up some plants I didn’t mean kill them!”

“Well shit, Harley, gotta be more specific with me, you know I don’t follow directions well,” you answer as you lower yourself to the ground. “I’ll try not to fuck up the rest of the forest, aight?”

“Dave.” Her voice is soft and sincere, and it damn near breaks you. You can feel that your shades do no good to stop her from gazing into your soul. “I’m not stupid, I know something happened with you and Karkat.”

The sound of his name makes you wince more than the accusation. Her hand is suddenly on your shoulder, radiating warmth.

“It’s cool,” you answer with a forced smirk. “We’re all good.”

“He moved out of your apartment,” she frowns. It stings. Her hand rubs at your shoulder as if to ease the pain. “Rose said you might need someone to talk to about it, so…”

“Okay, your daily friendship duties are done, nice work,” you say as you brush her hand away. “You can report back to my snarky bitch of a sister that I’m peachy-fucking-keen.”

“I didn’t just ask because Rose said I should,” she rolls her eyes. “I care about you, moron.” 

You bring a hand to your heart and offer the most insincere smile you can muster. “I’m so goddamn touched.” 

Jade rolls her eyes again and snatches your hand, pulling you down to the mossy brush of the forest. You don’t bother resisting as you sit beside her, crossing your legs in front of you as you lean back on your palms. The soil beneath you is slightly damp, it feels squishy and new and natural in a way that you’ve never experienced before. You passively wonder if this place is similar to where Jade grew up, if she got to breathe in fresh oxygen and move through a growing green forest every day. 

“Consider this an unofficial feels session,” Jade interrupts your thoughts by gently poking your cheek. She sits back on her legs, the fabric of her tights wearing thin over her knees. She’s not wearing her god pajamas, but the color scheme of her clothes matches it pretty closely. The witchy black and white leggings hug her thighs beneath her high-waisted grey shorts while a flowy black tank top hangs loosely over her chest. 

You catch yourself staring at her collar bone, thinking of how smooth and sharp and perfect it looks. Her skin is a rich caramel color, sunkissed and nearly glowing against the stark black curls of her hair. Shit, you’re totally checking her out. You can only hope that she doesn’t notice the way your gaze lingers on her from behind your shades. Jade breathes out a heavy sigh, and she opens her eyes (when did she close them?? You don’t know, you were too busy staring at her like a fucking creep). Her smile is soft and genuine as she looks at you as if there weren’t a solarized barrier between your eyes and the rest of the world. 

“Fine, he decided we would fit better in the hatefuck quadrant so he broke up with my hearts and latched onto my spades,” you say quickly, tilting your head towards the sky. “And yeah, I’m rightfully pissed about it because we were together for the better part of three years, during which he was cool with all the quadrant flipping bullshit. But now that we’re suddenly in a new place, starting a new fucking chapter in our collective lives or whatever, he decides we need to play by the rules… oh, _fuck_.” 

The realization hits you like a fucking truck. You flop back onto the ground and shove your glasses off your face so your palms can effectively rub at your eyes. You’re so fucking stupid. 

“First of all, you’re not pissed off, you’re hurt,” Jade’s voice says. “Secondly, what’re you freaking out about?” She pokes your side, and you definitely do not flinch because it kind of tickles. 

You drop your hands, letting your arms fall out to your sides so you can squint at her. “He broke up with me because there’s more options now.” 

“Options?” 

“Yeah,” you sigh in near defeat. “Our teenage guardians, you and John and Davesprite…there’s more people around now, so he’s got other options for the hearts quadrant. He doesn’t have to settle for me and my bullshit anymore.” 

“That’s so dumb,” Jade says in a way that you just know she’s also rolling her eyes at you. She scoots closer to you and leans down on one side, her elbow in the dirt while her hand props up her head. “And kind of weirdo, over-analyzing-y for you.” 

“It’s true,” you glare. “And he’s gonna end up with one or two other boyfriends or girlfriends or _whatever_ , and I’ll be the dependent ex-wife still calling him up for child support money and dates because I truly believe we could make this thing work and stick together for the kids.” 

Your mouth is suddenly impeded by Jade’s hand. You lick it and it tastes like dirt, so you be sure to convey your disgust. That was stupid, you’re stupid. 

“Shut up,” she laughs, wiping the remnants of your saliva off on your shirt. “You’re doing what you always do. You’re mixing your metaphors and sounding like an idiot, just like when you were thirteen.” 

“You shut up,” you glare. “I’m not the same dumbass I was when I was thirteen.”

“Hard to believe.” 

“For starters,” you begin, sitting up to face her. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t like dick when I was thirteen.” 

“And I’m pretty sure you were just in denial about liking dick when you were thirteen,” Jade laughs and pokes at your nose. You scrunch your face up at her as you fail to think up a decent comeback, and settle for childishly sticking your tongue out. (You were going to make a comment comparing her to Rose, but you’re still too pissed at your ecto-sister to even bring her up in conversation). 

“Well, I’m not gonna make you talk about it if you really don’t wanna,” she sighs, leaning back in the brush beside you. The wind rustles the leaves of the trees you haven’t killed, and Jade’s dog ears twitch at the noise. 

“So how do those work?” you ask, pointing. “Do you still have normal ears under there or were they like zapped off or something?” 

“I still have normal ears,” she sounds slightly offended as she glances at you. “They just don’t work. These are better anyways, I can hear anything from a mile away.” She twitches her ears again, and you smirk. 

“Can I touch ‘em?” you ask. 

“On the first date?” she gasps comedicly. “What kind of lady do you take me for Mr. Strider?” 

“You wanna be wined and dined, you came to the wrong Strider,” you laugh, reaching up to scratch at the fluff of her left dog ear. She mimics your grin and leans into your touch, emitting what almost sounds like a purr from the back of her throat. 

“Wrong Strider either way, since you _both_ like dick,” Jade snarks back. 

“Hey, Dirk may be close minded, but I happen to be a two way street,” you say defensively. “I’m not gay, alright?” 

“I find that hard to believe,” she giggles, still leaning against your hand. You scratch a bit more before curling your fingers into her hair and rubbing at the other ear. “You’ve never had a crush on a girl. And don’t bring up whatever you had with Rose all those years ago, because that was a joke and you both know it.” 

“I had a crush on you too,” you answer without thinking. You’re just glad you remembered to use past tense. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure you’re a chick.” 

“Straight guys don’t call girls ‘chicks’ you weirdo.” 

“Well I’m not straight!” 

“You’re also _‘not gay’_ ,” she says, using air quotes and all. “So what is the truth?” She wiggles her eyebrows, and it reminds you too much of Egbert for your liking. You stop rubbing her ears and move back to lean on your palms. 

You hate this question, this discussion. All the talk of sexuality and identity and what definitions mean when thrown into different contexts…you spent more time that you’d have liked to talking about all this with Rose, then Karkat, then Dirk…you really don’t want to go over it again with Jade. Why should it matter what you’re attracted to? Nothing ever fucking works out for you anyways, so it shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. 

You must really seem upset, because Jade is looking at you like she’s worried. 

“Hey,” she nudges you with her shoulder. “You know I’m kidding.” Her voice has gone serious, emerald eyes wide as she stares through you. 

“Warn me ahead of time, yeah?” you mutter and nudge back weakly. 

She sighs so heavily, you can almost feel the tension she’s releasing. When she flops onto her back, a bed of flowers cushions her fall, and she scrunches up her face at you. You can’t help but smirk as you join her down on the ground, secretly loving the softness of the jasmine petals on your forearms. 

“Ya know, I don’t really give a shit about all that stuff,” she says as she nudges you. “Like, way before you decided to make it cool to stop caring about our dead society.” 

“Now who’s the hipster?” you nudge her back. Jade giggles, and it’s infectious. There’s a heat spreading across your cheeks, and you don’t think it’s from the sun. 

“Seriously though,” she says after a deep breath. “I think it’s cool how we can make our own rules now with our own planet. Like, all of those old standards are gone. No more rich, old, white guys deciding everything for us.” 

“Yeah now it’s just young, queer gods deciding everything,” you snort a laugh, and she does the same. 

Silence hangs over the two of you again, but it’s nice, peaceful. A breeze rolls over the hill you’re lying on, rustling the leaves of the trees and brushing the velvety flower petals against your skin. Jade’s hair gets caught up in the wind and tickles your nose, and with everything else around you- the stupidly calm atmosphere and overwhelming happiness- it makes you laugh. Like, actually laugh. Your stomach starts to hurt as you curl in on yourself, laughing uncontrollably like a kid who just got exactly what they wanted for Christmas. 

Jade turns on her side, propping her head up with her arm, grinning at you and giggling a bit at what you can only imagine is the most ridiculous display she’s ever seen out of you. 

“ _Holy fuckin’ shit_ ,” you sputter out between laughs. You throw your arm over your eyes, reveling in the heat on your cheeks and the way your face hurts from smiling for so long. “Dude, every single shitty thing is over, do you realize that, Jade? Like all the bullshit we had to deal with before, our shitty families and crappy, polluted towns and dumbass politicians making stupid decisions…it’s all _done_ with!”

“Mhmm,” Jade hums, smiling wide and rolling onto her stomach as she watches you. 

You probably look like you’re losing your fucking mind, which, yeah maybe you might be, just a little. It’s so dumb how long it took this realization to hit you, though. You guys are literally gods of your own world, of your own fucking universe. You make the rules, you can do whatever you want, and you’re finally fucking _free!_

You don’t know how long you kept on laughing or staring up at the sky, but when you look back over at Jade, she’s still got that soft smile on her face. She’s tying the stems of the jasmine flowers together, finishing her second flower crown as you stare. There’s already a thick array of flowers in her hair, some of them coming loose from the rest of the crown and sticking in the curls that cascade down her shoulders. She looks like some sort of nymph, like a fairy tale creature from a children’s book you were never allowed to read as a kid. You pluck a flower from the grass and reach up to stick it above one of her dog ears. They twitch at your touch, and her eyes meet yours. She’s smiling wide, and you mirror it without meaning to. 

Fuck, everything feels so right. This feels _right_ , it feels _good_. 

You don’t know what you’re doing when your fingertips linger on her cheek, when you roll across the brush towards her, when you press your lips to her mouth…  
Ever since you reached godtier, you’ve been able to feel the movement of time around you. Each tick of your internal clock, counting the hours, minutes, seconds, nanoseconds… Your head spins with numbers like gears, like the clicking of a metronome that matches the beat of the song of the universe. The tune glides through your head like vinyl beneath your fingertips, and you read each bump and groove as if you’ve known brail forever. 

As you kiss Jade, time slows down. 

Everything is smooth and soft, perfectly cradled in your hands like the skin of your lips against her cheek…trailing down her jaw…brushing the crook of her neck. Her breath is warm and soothing in your ears, and her hands are those of a goddess as she runs them through your hair. 

Time is standing still, and you’re surrounded by a galaxy made up of clouds and flowers and blooming trees—dead fruits, swirling solar systems, the clinking of gears and clicking of guns—and holy fuck, everything is soft and perfect. You can’t breathe, you’re suffocating on warm, wet cotton, but it feels so fucking right and you never want to stop.

This moment is the first since you became a god, that you lose track of time. 

You immediately decide that you absolutely fucking love it. 

“Dave,” Jade’s whispered breath is hot against your lips. “You okay?” 

Your eyes slowly open, and you’re almost startled at how close she is to you. She’s hovering over you, the thick curls of her hair flowing over one shoulder and creating a curtain that mimics the sky; dark, swirling masses littered with bright dots of life. You know they’re flowers, but you could swear that they looked just like stars in your hazy state. 

“What the fuck was _that_ ,” you manage to breathe. 

“Was that the first time you kissed one of us?” she asks softly. Her fingertips graze over your cheek and it starts a glowing warmth across your skin. The question confuses you, you can’t even make yourself answer, but somehow you both know that she understands. 

“As gods,” she goes on. “When we’re together, it has an effect on our universe. Jane spreads life, and when she’s close to Jake, that life is filled with hope…flowers bloom, creatures evolve. John and I have gotten closer, and now his breeze follows me everywhere. Any kind of bond effects our aspects and influences our universe.” 

She pauses, and you meet her eyes. You swear you can see the swirling galaxies in those emerald pools. 

“When we kiss, it has the biggest impact,” she says, a blush reaching her cheeks. “But…with you, just now…that’s the most I’ve ever felt.” 

Nothing she’s saying makes sense, but you’re totally captivated by her words. Something clicks in your mind, and your fingers tangle in the soft curls of her hair. You really, really want to kiss her again. 

“Space and time,” you say, like it’s a revelation. “Guess that makes sense…. Who else have you tried this with?”

“It was Rose’s theory,” she tells you. “She’s like a genius with all this stuff. So we tried, and she was right. I could feel all my stars getting brighter, I could practically see the outer edge of the Frog glowing…” 

Her delicate fingertips find the pulse on your neck, and you unconsciously let it fall into beat with your internal metronome. 

“What did you feel?” you ask. “Just now, I mean…like, with…me.” 

“Everything,” she breathes. “The whole universe, since we got here and created it…everything in the past and everything that’s going to happen, all across… _everything._ ” 

“Space and time,” you repeat. “All of it, at once… Fuck, I could feel it too.” 

You know you should talk more about this, possibly go find Rose and tell her about this stunning revelation regarding your status as gods and the powers you hold effecting the universe. You should get up and finish working on the trees in the forest before sundown. You should go back to your place and meet up with Dirk like you promised you would. 

You should do lots of things, but you know you won’t. 

Instead, your lips find Jade’s again, and you’re lost beneath her. You focus on it now as she kisses you—all of time and space wrapping around you, merging together and expanding and burning like the fires of the sun. You lose track of time, of your internal clock, of everything that isn’t connected to Jade because suddenly she is all that matters. Every part of your body touching her brings an ebb and flow of energy, like heat waves that you’re quickly becoming addicted to. You need to be closer to her, but the contrast of your urgency and gentleness is so fucking perfect that it feels like you’re slowing down even as things speed up. 

If you ever doubted your statuses as gods in this world, Jade is the proof before your eyes. Her skin is smoldering and dark against the pale jasmine—against your own cool, pale skin. Everything feels like steam and solar flares and evaporating clouds as you sink into her, and all of space envelopes time across the universe. You lose yourself completely, you forget your name, forget your physical form as you make love to the goddess of space, and it is the most beautiful, amazing thing you’ll ever know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you're moving out of your newly acquired kismesis's hivestem. You happen to come across Davepeta along the way though, and now you're wondering if Rose had some specific intentions when she sparked the fight that emptied out your flushed quadrant.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are in a stupid amount of pain. Okay, it’s better described as soreness, and it’s your own damn fault anyways. Plus it’s a reminder of the ridiculous kismesis sex you had yesterday. Really, you have no reason to be complaining about it, and you should stop being such a wriggler and get your shit together. Getting your shit together involves the figurative and literal sense in this case. You’re in the process of moving out of your shared respiteblock with Dave in favor of an empty one in Kanaya’s hivestem. It’ll definitely be quieter over there, since the only occupants are Rose and Kanaya, who share a room, and Dirk. You think that being closer to Dirk will do a little something to piss Dave off, and that pleases you almost to the point of providing motivation to get moving. 

Almost. 

Yeah, fuck it, your legs are too sore to keep moving right now. You plop yourself down on the floor in the living room, beside all of your belongings. Maybe you’ll nap, and then continue moving. Besides, it’s currently three in the morning, you doubt anyone will care if you’re lazing around in the common area with all the shit you own. 

Your eyes close, and you swear it stings. You’ve been awake for so long you’ve forgotten what day it is. It takes seven deep inhales and exhales for your mind to drift into unconsciousness. It is not long after that when you’re startled awake by a fucking cat walking right across your face. 

“Oh fuck me,” you groan, opening your eyes to swat at the beast. A growl rumbles in your chest as you sit up, and you’re sure you’ve reached a state of being that is pure exhaustion and annoyance. 

“Sorry,” whispers a soft voice, making you startle. You glare in the direction of the noise, your eyes glinting through the darkness to see a figure half hidden in the hallway. At first glance, your blood pusher fucking drops in your chest because you swear it looks just like Nepeta. 

“Wrangle your purr beast,” you grumble. 

“We both know it’s called a cat,” they smirk as they shuffle towards you. “Looks like he likes you though.” 

The prickle of claws on your thigh draws your attention down to the cat, and you watch as the black ball of fur curls up against your lap. You try to shove it away, but it only readjusts and rests its head on your knee. You did not ask for a cuddle buddy, goddamnit, but you’re too tired to argue. 

“Fine, fuck, whatever,” you sigh in defeat. You let yourself fall unceremoniously back down on the floor, effectively knocking the wind out of your lungs for a brief moment. You can’t even bring yourself to care. 

“I thought I heard someone out here…didn’t realize you were moving uh…stuff,” Davepeta is still talking to you, circling around to lean against the only arm of the couch which is not piled with your shit. 

“Yeah,” you respond without opening your eyes. “There’s a spare room in Kanaya and Rose’s hivestem, I look forward to the fucking peace and quiet.” 

“Won’t be a lack of purr beasts there though,” they say, tone so thick with snark that you can picture the smirk they must be sporting at your expense. “I’m pretty sure one of Rose’s cats is pregnant now too.” 

“Oh that’s just great, _congratu-fucking-lations_ , I look forward to getting the disgusting fur of her spawn all over everything I own.” You rub the heels of your palms against your eyes, and you see nothing but static for a few disorienting seconds, during which you can hear stifled giggles and shuffling footsteps. The weight of the cat is lifted from you, and when your vision returns, you see Davepeta sitting beside you, purr beast in their lap. 

“Can I ask why you’re moving then?” they say. “Since you don’t seem too thrilled about being around more cats.” 

“It’s generally not a good idea to live in the same respiteblock as one’s kismesis,” you groan in embarrassment. You can feel the heat on your cheeks, and you’re so fucking glad that human eyes can’t see very well in the dark. 

“You and Dave… _really?_ ” they whisper, sounding surprised. 

“Yeah, fucking really,” you sigh, sitting up to face them. “Apparently all that quadrant blurring settled us in the opposite fucking corner from where we started.” 

“You used to be moirails?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Wow…” They’re still staring at you, wide eyes practically glinting through the dim light. There’s a flash as the mutant purr beast blinks at you as well, and for a moment you wonder if it can understand your humiliation too. 

“I really don’t want to talk about my stupidity, so could we just fucking drop it?” You rub at your eyes again, and they still fucking sting. 

“Sure thing,” they say, suddenly rising to their feet. The beast shifts in their arms, getting more comfortable you presume, while they walk towards the door. 

“Where the fuck are you going?” you ask. “It’s the middle of the night.” 

“No rules here on Alterni-Earth,” they snark back. “Going for a walk…you wanna come with?” 

You sit up fully and stare at them for another few seconds. The way all your shit is piled up around you, boxes upon boxes, carelessly packed because you were in a rush, it’s pretty stressful to even be in the same room as this stuff. You decide, fuck it. They’re right, this is your world. There’s no more curfew, no more fear of being culled for being out too late (or early). You huff out a sigh as you rise to your feet and follow them through the door. 

There is something stupidly peaceful about the night sky. It’s a deep blue with pinpricks of stars permeating the darkness, and beyond the horizon, you can see a stretch of the galaxy bowed across the sky. It really is beautiful, you realize, you haven’t taken the time to appreciate all the creations of this new universe. It’s almost startling to believe that your friends did this- people who you’ve known for over a sweep, who are the same age as you, and yet possess the powers of gods. Your footsteps slow as this thought sticks in your mind, and you stare up at the stars. 

“Jade did a hell of a job, huh?” 

You glance over to see Davepeta looking up at the sky beside you. In the pale light of the twin moons, you could swear their profile is identical to Nepeta’s, but the glint in their eyes is too light of a green to match hers, and their smirk is the same one that Dave wears. Your chest suddenly hurts, and you wonder if coming out here with them was a mistake. 

“I wish I could have made it work with her,” they say, turning back towards the horizon. “Pretty sure she’s unattainable though.” 

“You’re still flushed for her?” you ask. Because yeah, gossip that isn’t about your own relationships will always cheer you up.

“Oh, no, not really,” they answer, glancing at you for a moment. “Just…I was so flushed for her in the past, it kinda lingers now, you know?” 

Images of Terezi cross your mind without your permission, and you frown. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.” 

You follow in silence as they walk towards the edge of the forest, keeping to the brush around the outside. After a minute, you end up at the mossy shore of a small pond, the opposite side of which leads into a clearing in the forest. The water shimmers in the moonlight, and you can vaguely make out the shadows of fish just below the surface. The purr beast pounces off of Nep’s shoulder and stalks up to the water. 

“She likes to hunt here,” they say. You nod in response, and watch the cat. 

Something about the primal actions of the beast help keep your head clear, and you’re silently thankful for that. You stare as her paws bat playfully at the water for a moment before she decides to stalk a particular fish and pounce at it. The violet blood of the fish splashes across the cat’s claws as she tears into it. The sight makes your stomach sink, and you have to look away. 

“Sorry,” Nep says is a quiet voice. “I forgot…the Blood thing.” 

“Blood thing?” you glare questioningly. 

“Your aspect,” they say. “Physical blood is linked to the bonds…I imagine that’s hard when you’ve lost so many friends.” 

“Oh. I guess.” Fuck, your chest really hurts again. You swallow down the rising panic and watch as the cat washes the violet from her face. “I never really understood my aspect,” you admit. “It sounds like a bunch of bullshit, honestly. Might have been different if I got any use out of it though.” 

“You don’t think you got use out of it?” they ask, reaching down to pluck a stone from the bay. 

“I’m not one of the flying assholes in god pajamas, am I?” you glare. “Whatever the fuck a blood player is supposed to do, I didn’t get any of it. I meant to ask Kankri but it’s not like that conversation would lead anywhere even if I had the fucking chance to start it.” 

“Kankri was a Seer of Blood,” they say as they flick the stone at the water. It skips twice before sinking below the surface, and you watch as the fish nearby scatter. “He could remember his previous incarnation because of it…could remember all the bonds that his former self had. You’re a Knight of Blood, completely different. Even if you had gotten the chance to suffer through that conversation with him, you wouldn’t have learned anything about yourself.” 

“And what are you, the _Knower of All Knowledge_ or some shit?” you snap back.

They just giggle at you, which you really didn’t expect as a response to your rudeness. You shut your mouth and turn towards the pond again, spotting the black cat as she stalks another fish near the opposite bay. 

“If I were in the Game as I am now, I would be a Mage of Heart,” they say with confidence.

“You’re that sure?” you ask, glancing over at them.

“I used to be a Sprite, I know this stuff,” they say with a nod and a small smirk that resembles Dave’s a little too much for your liking. “I would definitely be a heart player, since that aspect is closely related to splintered souls…like, Dirk.”

“And the Mage thing?”

“Mages are like the other side of the coin to Seers,” they explain. “It’s like…I can tell where a soul or a pair of souls is bound to fit best, but instead of being able to explicitly see it, I just sort of…make it happen.” Nep blinks up at you, and you can’t ignore the scarlet blush across their cheeks. A heavy silence goes on for too long before they speak again.

“Of course that’s just speculation,” they shrug and turn back towards the water. “Wouldn’t really know unless we entered a new session.”

Nep flicks another stone and you watch as it skips across the water, one…two…three times, before it sinks.

“Well…I really fucking hope we don’t end up finding a new session here,” you say honestly. “I’m so beyond all that bullshit, having to go through two and a half fucking games just to come out of it alive with less than half my team…didn’t even become a fucking god tier.” You chuck a stone at the water and it sinks unceremoniously. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the cat flinch in surprise. 

“You weren’t supposed to.” 

“I _know_ I wasn’t supposed to, that’s the most frustrating fucking part of it,” you groan, glaring at the water. “The success of our timeline was contingent on me being a total fuck up, getting my friends killed, and being as far away from the final battle as possible so I wouldn’t accidentally screw that up too. Every god version of myself I’ve met has been dead and doomed and useless. Every single version of myself is idiotic and unhappy and worthless, and I’m the biggest piece of shit of them all.” 

The world is getting blurry, and you realize it’s because you’re going to cry. There’s a burning in the pit of your stomach, and you sink down to the ground, sitting on the damp moss. You curl your knees up to your chest, clutching a rock as you fold your arms in front of your face. You want to hide, but you know you can’t. Translucent pink tears stream down your cheeks, and it takes every ounce of self-control you have not to start sobbing. 

“I’m fucking cancerous,” you mutter. “It’s written in the stars.” 

“You’re right.” 

You pause, turn to stare and blink the tears from your eyes because you’re pretty sure you heard them wrong. They’re looking out at the water as the reflection of the sun shimmers on the horizon. 

“You fucked up,” they continue. “Because you had to fuck up. It was part of the Game, I’m not going to lie to you about that. But you also did a lot of good.” They turn to look at you, a small smile on their face that is neither Nepeta’s nor Dave’s; it’s all their own. 

You must have been staring like a bulge-fondling creep for longer than you realized (your vision does that weird, fuzzy thing that usually leads into a flashback or daydream, but your mind is just full of him and her and them), and you snap back into focus as Nep is stretching out their shoulders. You can see the way their shoulder-blades pop in and out of their place, the light of the twin moons glinting off the smooth scars mirroring either side of their spine. Passively, you wonder if they miss being able to fly, not just like a god or a sprite, but like a graceful beast. From what you can recall, their wingspan was impressive. 

“Anyway, that’s how I know you’ll be fine,” they say, suddenly breaking the silence. “Whether or not my aspect is correct, I like to think my knowledge on The Game offers me enough wisdom to say I know what I’m talking about. And…as a Heart player, I can feel the bonds…” They cross their arms as if they’re cold, looking out at the water as their purr beast slinks back towards you. “I can tell you and Dave are part of the same piece. You two belong together, one way or another. Despite whatever jealousy I’ve gotta deal with, I know it’s right that you’ve got him.” 

That’s…fuck, that’s kind of fucking beautiful. But…

“Wait, jealousy?” you question. 

They try and fail to hide the blush rising to their cheeks. “Obviously,” they half scoff, half sigh. “Seventy percent of me is made up of two individuals who were stupidly in love with you.”

“Oh.” You feel your own face heat up, and turn your attention towards the cat pawing at your shoes. The pit of self-loathing is still churning in your stomach, and you frown. “Well, I hope you get over it, nothing good ever comes from being with me.” 

“That’s the stupidest thing you’ve said,” they say as they sit beside you. “Dave is beyond lucky to have you, as a matesprit or kismesis, or…anything.” There’s that individualized smile again, as they shyly stare at you with their dichromatic eyes. “And you’re still with Rose, right?” 

You tear your gaze away from theirs as another stab of pain hits your core. “Who fucking knows,” you mutter. “It’s half her fault things got so fucked up with Dave…I haven’t talked to her since that shit show.” 

“Rose knows what she’s doing,” they say. “She’s a Seer…whatever outcomes happen, she knows they’re coming…” 

There’s another minute of silence, and a soft breeze rustles the leaves of the trees across the pond. You wonder if that means John is awake, or if his wind is just constantly flowing through the atmosphere regardless of his doing. The cat by your feet is batting at your shoelace, mewling when one of her claws get caught on it momentarily. You reach down to help her free, but your hand meets Davepeta’s as you both go for the cat’s paw. 

“Sorry,” they mutter, freeing their cat. The beast leaps into their lap and curls up, but their hand still lingers beneath yours. 

Your bloodpusher is pounding as you feel their pulse under yours, and their recent words ring through your head. _Rose knows what she’s doing…whatever outcomes happen, she knows they’re coming…_ You wonder if your cunning moirail did all this on purpose, made you and Dave flip quadrants, if she knew that Nep would find you, that you would go with them and talk about all the shit you’ve been going through… A small grin finds your lips, because _of course_ you’re sure she did this on purpose, she’s Rose fucking Lalonde. She’s twelve steps ahead of everyone else in this world. 

You turn your hand over and slide the skin of your palm against Nep’s. Compared to you, they’re cold, but there’s a spark just beneath the surface that you can’t ignore. Your fingers intertwine with theirs, and you’re surprised at how easily they lock into place. 

“There was a while when I pitied Nepeta,” you admit. Your voice is low and rough, heavy with exhaustion. “All my shit with Terezi fucked any chance of that up though, and then she died…” 

They squeeze your hand. “She knows,” they say. “She’s okay with nothing coming of it though…dying makes you realize that certain things are supposed to happen, whether we like it or not.” 

You passively wonder if they can access the memories of Nepeta and Davesprite, but decide now is not the best time to continue that conversation. Your chest aches, anxiety bubbling up in your throat to stop you from speaking anyways. 

“I…I still pity you,” they say softly. Their hand is clammy in yours, trembling slightly, while the other rests on the cat’s head. The beast is purring, adding to the background noise of bugs and birds chirping around in the trees. “Nothing has to come of it, I just…I feel better admitting it. Shit hurts when you have to hide it, ya know?” 

Yeah, you know. Fuck, do you know. 

You give their hand another squeeze, tugging lightly until they turn towards you. The light of the rising sun makes their eyes shimmer, drawing your attention to that thick slice of amber among the sparkling green. Their expression is so open, unimposing and innocent in a way that reminds you of the pieces that they are made up of. They’re like a puzzle with warn edges that keep falling out of place, and you’re compelled to hold them together. The pity swells in your throat, and when you swallow it feels like a thick lump of emotions clogging your words. 

“Karkat?” Their hand is trembling a bit as it inches out of your grip. 

For the first time in forever, you can’t make yourself find the words you want to speak. You’re stupidly quiet as you stare into their eyes and lean forward, the warmth radiating from your own body and bouncing off theirs. Their lips are cold, but their breath is hot against your mouth. The kiss only lasts for a couple seconds before you’re pulling away, still staring with wide eyes. 

It is still for a horrifying twelve beats of your heart before they’re leaning in to press your lips together again. Your pulse is racing against theirs, fingers laced together and squeezing away any space between your hands. The world turns without you noticing. The heat of your blood and the chill of their skin echo through your mind. Before you realize how long it’s been, the sun is warming your eyelids, and the moss beneath you is drying. The two of you open your eyes and stare in silence as the world around you begins to wake. 

The rest of the morning is just as peaceful and soft, the fluttering of creatures around the pond offering a background to the kisses and whispers shared between the two of you. You passively remind yourself to thank Rose later, because you know you wouldn’t be experiencing this much tranquility without the help of her meddling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for this part of the series! sorry it took me so long, school has been hectic and of course the ending of homestuck itself has taken up much of my time. I'm planning on writing more for this series as there seems to be decent interest in it. Thanks again for all the comments, and thanks for reading!   
> Reminder that my tumblr is silentconventionalweapon, feel free to chat me up there!

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re watching as life flashes before your eyes. Not your own life—fuck no, you would not want a play by play of that, ha ha ha, _no fucking thanks_ —but rather, you’re watching life itself flash before your eyes. It’s blooming, growing, branching, and you’re in a state of euphoria as you get to witness it. You’re even controlling some of it, your hands outstretched and shaking with energy as the raw power of time glides through your fingertips. 

You’re pretty sure this is heaven. 

Jade is across the field of wheat, raising the land up to create a large hill while Jane creates new species of plants to decorate it. The three of you have been out here all morning, expanding life across this once barren plane. You’ve gotten really good at aging up specific subjects to help jumpstart evolution. Your favorite is the field of apple trees, which was one of the first things you completed today. (And yes, you already plucked a whole bunch of them to make some juice from, which Jane agreed to do as long as she could use some of them to bake a pie). 

Ever since you reached godtier, you hated every aspect of your newly found status. Your planet was boiling and unbearable, and the way that scraping metal and coppery smells always hung in the air was enough to make you gag. Being a Knight seemed like a huge joke; you’re not brave, you’re not a hero. There was no fucking reason why you should be called a Knight. But the Time…

Vinyl whirrs beneath your fingertips, a vibrating pulse skidding over your skin with every second that passes. The bass pounds in time with the heartbeat of the universe, and it’s like you’re living inside a speaker. Time is like the music you’ve always loved, and music was the only thing keeping you alive throughout your disaster of a childhood.   
Using your powers to cause the blooming of life in your own world is the best thing you’ve done since becoming a god. 

But, immortal or otherwise, you can’t keep this up all day. Your arms are exhausted, and you’re so hungry that Jane heard your stomach groaning in pain from nearly two yards away. You all wish you could stay out here for longer, but after several sighs and very long blinking of tired eyes, you mutually agree to head home for the day. 

Karkat moved out of your room four days ago, and since he left you can’t stand to be in there by yourself. You’re terrified to sleep alone, as stupid and irrational that fear is. Luckily Jade doesn’t mind you crashing with her. 

As you cross the threshold of your apartment, you suddenly find yourself face to face with your own mirrored image. The only difference is that up-close-Dave is definitely not Dave because there are no shades to cover up those neon green and tangerine eyes. You blink once, twice, and the other Dave copies you. 

“Sorry,” they say as they step back. Your vison takes a few seconds to snap back into focus, but it does and, oh no shit, it’s Davesprite. 

Davepeta? 

Whatever. 

Not-Dave has a frown on their face that you just know is hiding a grimace. Clearly someone isn’t happy to see you. Now that you think of it though, you can imagine why. You haven’t had a single one-on-one conversation with this dude since you chatted up Davesprite back in The Game. And that was like, forever ago. (You know the exact length of time it’s been, but you refuse to acknowledge your internal clock because you’re tired and stubborn). 

“Nah, my bad,” you say, holding the door out and stepping aside. 

“Ladies first,” they say with a smirk (a Strider smirk at that, the bastard). “I realized I forgot something anyway.” 

Not-Dave turns on their heels and disappears down the hallway towards their room. You glare after them, moving slowly enough so that you’re still lingering in the hallway when they’re ready to walk out the door again. 

“You’re in a good mood,” you say pointedly (with more snark than you originally meant to, fuck you almost sound like Rose). 

“Is that not allowed?” they ask with a playful grin. “Is happiness a privilege for the gods?” 

“Cut the crap,” you sigh. “You going to see Karkat?” 

“Maybe,” they say, turning to walk past you. 

“Yeah well tell him to set a date for later tonight so I can kick his ass!” you yell childishly after them, even after the door had closed. You can just imagine the shit-eating smirk on that imposter’s face, and it makes you want to scream in frustration. Instead you ball up your fists and stomp into your room, determined to send Karkat as many flirtatiously black messages as possible. You're already looking forward to whatever spades-shaped attention you'll be dishing out at him later. 

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 

“Hey asshole,” Karkat greets you, his voice grating.

“What’s up piss baby,” you grin down at him. “Miss me?”

He responds by landing his fist in your gut, and you laugh through the pain. You shove his shoulder, and he only stumbles a little before settling himself down in the grass. You’re sure that you both notice this is where you consummated your black rom relationship. At least, the dusty pink across Karkat’s cheeks indicates that he remembers. You plop down on the ground next to him.

“Rose told me you and Jade have been real fuckin up close and personal lately,” he says, staring out at the horizon.

“Like you haven’t been bulge deep in pussy too?” you snort, and his face twists up in disgust. Fuck, you love when he looks like that, so offended and annoyed but also loving the way you speak to him on the same level as he does to you. Maybe you really were meant to share a spades with this guy.

“Gotta say, I’m kinda flattered that you’ve got a total Strider fetish, though I’m not sure how they feel bout you only going after them as a photocopy version of me,” you say.

“Fuck off, you’re so fucking pretentious,” he snaps, baring his teeth at you. “They’re nothing like you, for starters, they’re not a completely insufferable douche.” He punctuates his sentence with a shove to your shoulder, which you allow to topple you over since you’re weakened with laughter. This only pisses him off further, and soon he’s kneeling over you poking at your chest hard enough to leave bruises as he snarls. You let your shades slide off your face as you laugh at him, and you definitely notice how he stumbles over his profanities as he looks into your eyes.

“Kar,” you say between chuckles, your hand wrapping around his to stop the attack of pokes. “Dude, chill for like two seconds, okay?”

He groans out a sigh, reluctantly closing his mouth and glaring at you.

“Man I think we were meant to be together,” you say. Karkat nearly flies off the handle again, but your hand to his mouth stops him. “Shut the fuck up and let me talk. I’m saying like, no matter which square you wanna put us in, we’re always gonna be good together.”

“You’re disgusting,” he huffs, pulling his hand away from you. “Blatant quadrant blurring, courting without a specific quadrant in mind-”

“You gonna tag my triggers, Kankri?”

That earns you a punch to the shoulder, which you agree you deserve.

“All I’m saying man,” you continue, sitting up beside him. “Is that we’re fuckin meant for each other, ya know? Like, we’re hella in hearts or spades, we’re always gonna have each other.”

“This is so gross, I regret creating humans with such a fucked up concept of romance,” he grumbles half-heartedly.

“Dude, you made us like you,” you say, your hand finding his. “All rearranging quadrants and candy red blood.” That line earns you a glare, but also a reassuring squeeze to your hand.

“Good to know the entire human race is fucked up thanks to me,” he mutters, turning back to the horizon. “I fucking get what you mean though…whatever it is, I feel it too. Like having you in my life is a universal constant, no matter what the fuck else is happening.”

“Yeah,” you grin. “And I don’t give a shit how many times we shift quadrants, as long as we stay together somehow.”

The atmosphere is quiet then, still and borderline peaceful as you both stare out at the horizon. The band of star-speckled galaxy stretches over the sky, and you immediately think of Jade. It’s stupid how this all worked out, how after all that fighting and anxiety over possibly ending up alone had you working things out and being with two amazing people. The thought that this is your world dawns on you. You’re literally a god, you’ve earned this new universe, so maybe you do deserve to be happy within it. 

“By the way,” Karkat breaks the silence. “Those nightmares I was having. If you fucking care to know, might actually be important.” 

You look to him and frown, pointedly raising an eyebrow because, really dude? We were at a perfect place to end that conversation. 

“I talked to Rose about it,” he continues. “And she said that she saw something coming towards our universe. She can’t tell what it is yet, I guess it’s shadowed or something? She and Terezi are using their Seer bullshit to try and figure it out before it gets here.” 

“Could it be something bad? Like, another session or something?” Please, fuck no, you cannot deal with that shit again. You honestly think if you get thrown into another Game you’ll find the most ironically heroic way to kill yourself. 

“Who fucking knows,” he sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I have to trust her when she says she knows what she’s doing, trying to keep it quiet until they’re sure of what’s going on. Just thought I should tell you though.” There’s a glint as he glances at you, that creepy night vision film over his eyes briefly flashing in the dim light. 

“Shoulda known,” you grin. “Shit had been going too easy. It’s about damn time something interesting happened.” 

"Guess so," Karkat huffs. You barely have to glance over to see the tips of his sharp fangs poking over the chapped skin of his lips. You want to bruise those lips with yours, you want to scoop up the tiny troll and completely destroy him just to make him yours. Usually this kind of possessiveness would scare the shit out of you, but you know that he feels the same exact way. Passively, as the wind blows a few leaves from the trees, you wonder if he's thinking the same thing. It makes you laugh.

You laugh, because everything hurts and nothing is okay. You laugh because he’s beside you, because you don’t even have to open your eyes to know the expression on his face. His sigh echoes through your mind when you’re in bed alone, and sometimes when you’re in bed with Jade. Yeah you’re not gonna lie, as far as Karkat is considered, you’re head over heels for the asshole. Quadrant blurring, probably— it’s probably gross but you’re cool with smearing those romantic squares all over the damn place as long as you still get to laugh with him. 

Karkat is yapping in between your laughter, and the rough skin of his hands is like sandpaper as he swats at you. He can't hide his grin either, though, and somewhere within the mess of tangled limbs and heavy breaths, your eyes lock with his. Something is happening, something big, something important. The Game apparently isn't done with you, and you're so tired and used to being fucked over that you're ready for it. You've got Karkat beside you, you've got Jade and John and Terezi-- shit, you guys will definitely be okay. 

You grin at Karkat, laughter dying in your throat as your grip finds the scruff of his hair. There's an unignorable flame in the core of yourself, telling you that you can keep on making that upward movement, no matter how much things change.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [tumblr](http://silentconventionalweapon.tumblr.com)


End file.
